So some years ago, this night.. this time.. I would be out, all decked up in a pretty dress celebrating the New Year’s Eve now. And now, I am sitting up on the window pane at the top most floor of this building and watching people dance on the streets celebrating new years. That brings me to write this post so that I can help more people like me understand themselves better.
I was born to an extrovert father and an introvert mother. As a kid, I was more attracted to my father’s lifestyle. I loved him. More so, I wanted to be like him. So that was my adolescent years all about. Travelling multiple times each year, being outdoors, being social in most public gatherings, meeting new people, making friends, starting random conversations, getting to new places that’s opened up, laughing hysterically, long phone conversations described me. And this was my lifestyle too. I was a rich daddy’s spoilt brat. One fine morning my dad passed away. I coiled up for years trying to become an introvert in the sadness that prevailed in me for the loss of my favourite person, my beloved mentor. But like they say, life goes on and we are forced to live the life we have always lived, rather conditioned to grow. My lifestyle remained the same, but growing up cultivated my choices.
No, I was not an introvert yet.. but I started taking life through a different set of lenses. I started going out again after a few years had passed away. I suddenly realised, I didn’t like the crowd any longer. I was no longer the flamboyant speaker who would speak to new people, and make friends in seconds. In fact I preferred to be the observant. I loved being that. It was a peaceful place to be. I travelled and I still do, but rarely do I talk to a co-passenger. On Friday nights, I chose to skip dinners and cook at home. On Saturday nights, I chose to skip pubs and read a book instead. On Christmas Eve’s I started skipping the parties and opted for quite dinners. On New Year’s Eve I started skipping the countdown bashes to sit down on window and think about how to make my life more organised and watch other people celebrate their Eve. Like most introverts, I didn’t have the expression issue. It was always my choice, whether and when I wanted to or not. I could still speak up my mind. I could still laugh hysterically provided I am with a friend, but I make new friends no longer. I could still talk to a random stranger but I preferred not to. I only talk when a topic excites me or I keep a strong POV about it. And, as soon as I am done proving my point, I would not utter a word and be the best listener. I am always looking for knowledge in any form, listening to people and their experiences help me fetch them. I am so sorted in my professional life that you would never know how unorganised I am in my personal life. One day, I am up to get the world, and I am the most social person you ‘ll ever meet. And on another days, all I would do is sleep over the whole weekend. I need peace and quiet time with myself. I am very persistent at times and very impatient at other. Pushed out of my limits, I am quite a monster inside me. I can relate to both introvert problems and extrovert problems. I am aggressive, whimsical, and then I get bored easily. But no, I am not shallow. I am an Ambivert!
There is a very thin line in between an extrovert and an ambivert and then again an introvert and an ambivert. An ambivert can be a bit of both the worlds, yes they have problems in the crowd and yet again, they can hang around in the crowd, provided you can keep them curious and excited.