To the adventures of a Solo Trip: Thank You all the Good Men in the World.

To the adventures of a  solo trip.

Thank you all the Good Men of the world, Thank you.

IMG_2176

This is going to be a bit long with real life experiences in details. Read at your own risk. Rantings ahead 😀

It was only a month ago, that I was found arguing with a friend on how men never understand equality. I was mad angry and I kept blabbering that all men were alike, and the society is so biased with them, that no matter what they do, they always find a way out of the mess, they get in. And, we suffer for  their deeds. My friend is very patient. She kept calming me down and trying to make a valid point by mentioning how good her father is and how good my father was, and that should be our standard to judge men and not some random guy who is molesting, abusing another woman to satisfy their ego.  Howsoever I was not convinced. The woman in me was reminded of the broken marriage one of my closest friends’  is going through, how much her husband tortured her before she finally let go of him. The girl in me was reminded of the threat I read in the newspapers daily about the molestation and rapes that were happening in the various parts of our country. The young professional in me reminded me of the gender-bias I faced when I just started working. The seventeen year old was reminded how much I had to struggle after my father passed away, just because I was a girl. There were men who told me, girls are meant to be married off and their father’s property and business to be divided among people who had sons. I was reminded how my mother was warned to not trust a girl child with her property and that the girl might run away with all the money. So, I was not convinced. I had too many reasons to call men privileged and the society biased.

One week after this incident,

I was travelling to Chennai for some work. I was mad late for my flight. I didn’t pre-book my tickets. And they only had a middle seat to offer me. I enquired about the aile and window seat beside me, which they informed were occupied by two middle-aged men. Now, I was super uncomfortable. I walked back to the Spice jet guy and told him if he could change my seat. He informed me that seats were filled and that he couldn’t help. Almost a minute later, he called me back to inform me that he would upgrade me to a SpiceMax seat without any extra charge, and that he understands that it would be uncomfortable for a girl to sit in between two strangers. I thanked him, boarded my flight happy and smiling.

Reaching Chennai, I had to go to Kancheepuram, a 70kms drive from the airport. I booked a cab. The girl in me scared with the innumerous molestation events we hear each day about the girls who travel solo, and considering it was evening time. The car broke down midway at a place which had bare population. Exactly what I was fearing. I had no water, no food, the night was nearing and the place I was about to stay at, for the workshop closes at 10 pm. I didn’t even know what to voice, I saw him making some phone calls, talking in Tamil. I was shit scared. Airtel net wasn’t working and I couldn’t even send my location to a friend or family. Out of fear and panic, I spoke nothing and waited till the driver fixes the car, praying God that I don’t get into the newspapers the next morning for being killed for travelling solo. Half an hour later, a group of four men came and were talking to the driver. The driver knocked at my window to offer me water.  He informed me, that it would take 20 mins and they would fix the car, that he had the mechanic come up. I still did not believe him, but I didn’t have the guts  to argue. Half an hour later, he started the car and took me to my destination, dropped me safe and sound. Said a sorry meekly for the inconvenience caused and left. He also mentioned that if he left the car, to get the parts repaired, it would have been faster, but he didn’t want to leave me alone, for it was unsafe. I thanked my stars. And, realised how wrong I had judged these men. I looked up at the sky and smiled. Voiced a thank you silently.

When I reached the venue, it was 10:30 at night. The gates were closed by 10. I somehow managed to get in for I knew for sure no food was waiting for me that night, and I had to sleep food-less that night. The place looked like those age-old holiday homes. I entered my room, unpacked, refreshed and around 11:15, there was a knock in my door. I was super sceptical to open it. I opened it slightly to see an old man standing with what seemed like food in his hand. He came inside the room and sat himself on the chair and asked me to eat. . It had Sambar, Rice and some potatoes semi-fried. I was like *what the F? Nobody does that to me?* in my mind. He had mistaken me for Tamil, because of my brown skin colour. I told him that I was a bong. He had poor English but I loved how he wanted to communicate with me. He told me that he is the cook here, he is being working here since the last 50 years. It is his duty to feed everyone before he sleeps. That he has a granddaughter who would be of my age, and that he had not seen her in the last 12 years. Finally when I was done eating and he was going away he shocked me by saying, that he saw me entering the gate all tired and hungry, its not his job to serve after 10 but he went to the kitchen cooked and brought me this meal hoping that if he is good to me today, someone somewhere will also be good and kind to his granddaughter. I was so touched. Till that day I only believed woman that a kind hearts. That Man changed my rigid thought I was stuck with since the last 10 years I have lived without my  father. I thanked him and dozed off to sleep.

2 days later, when I was done with the workshop I wanted to visit Pondicherry. Excited with the good days and good people I was living with. I realised, a happy woman is only the result of good men around her. I booked zoom car to drive to Pondicherry. I was out of my cage. I felt free. I found a place where I felt safe. Chennai to Pondicherry is like 155kms drive on the ECR- Eastern Coastal Road. It took me 3.5 hours to reach Pondicherry. The beautiful blue Bay of Bengal on the one side of the ECR and greens on the other side. That drive was the most peaceful thing that happened to me in the last 10 years, it was that serene.

I reached a different India. By then, I had begun to wonder if its just Tamil Nadu which was this safe or is it my perspective towards men  that needs to change. And suddenly from the nagging and sulking young woman to the extremely happy young girl. I felt good. I took a quick walk in and around the streets to see the place I was living at, before I called it off as the happiest day of my life. I lost my way back to the hotel. My phone was drained out of charge and dead. I had no idea how I would return back for I believed cities like this shut down sooner than ours. And I was right. I found no autos. There were very few people in the streets and they barely understood what I spoke. I was walking aimlessly to find atleast some help, and then I bumped into this guy and he only spoke Tamil. “No English” as they say. I tried explaining him by naming my hotel a 100 times. He signalled me to follow him. I was sceptical but I had no way anyways. I was mad scared for it was dark, roads were empty and I had no other option but to take a chance and trust him. I prayed to the almighty and followed him. 2 mins later, I spotted my hotel. How dumb of me! I was wandering two streets away and couldn’t find my way back. Howsoever the Tamil boy nodded and greeted and went away. True Indeed.. I was in a different India.

Next morning, I walked up to the roof of the restaurant for my breakfast. Most hotels in Pondicherry have roof top restaurants. Wow isn’t it? So after my breakfast was done, I met this girl. She introduced herself as the social marketing head of the hotel. Assuming she would be a local, I asked her what is the best way to get to Auroville. And, I just couldn’t believe what she uttered after that. To quote her exactly, “You are a solo girl travelling? I don’t think you should go to Auroville all alone. You know its all forest and unsafe there. Even if you take a driver, whats the guarantee you would be safe? The driver could be unsafe too.” I was like but I came all the way from Calcutta, I can’t miss Auroville. Infact, I was thinking of driving myself to the place. And she said, “Look I am nobody to ask you not to but if you are really that brave please go but do carry some pepper spray along with you. Last time my friends went there they were robbed, inspite of being in a group.” I bid her and walked down with mixed feelings. Because I had heard all good things about Auroville. But she was a local and she had negative things to say. I didn’t know whom to believe. Howsoever I went out to see more of the city. I hired a Vespa to get wings to fly around 😛 So I visited the churches, the temples, the Sri Aurobindo ashram, the beaches, the french café. I kept asking the same question to almost everyone I met that day.. is Auroville unsafe? So the Tamils claimed it to be dominated by foreigners so anything can go wrong; and the migrants said the local Tamils in the village can rob you on the road. I received a mix response. I had always been a stubborn kid all my life. I found a sense of thrill in doing the things that were forbidden. I decided to drive the next morning to Auroville. It was around 12kms from the place I lived in. Almost a cake walk for me, but  I had never driven to any village before. I was such a city person. I lost my way. The de-route took me 6 kms extra. After driving for 25 odd minutes I reached somewhere near the Auroville Beach. I had a left turn to take and drive another 7 kms. Initial 2 kms had hotels and people but post that it was all empty. And, to be honest I was a bit scared of the tyres. What if they punctured, whom would I seek help from? Howsoever very soon I reached a place so green that I had almost forgotten all fears and was busy appreciating nature at its best.. clicking pictures, collecting flowers and studying trees. Yes almost. 😀

And suddenly Airtel had no network. I didn’t know which way to go. I waved to a running vehicle to stop him. I knew he wouldn’t stop. For we the city people barely stop in these situations. We are taught not to stop on empty roads. We fear to be robbed. But that man stopped. I asked him about the way and he asked me to follow him. It was not his way. He went out of his way to guide me to the right route. I had started pinching myself by then asking myself if I was dreaming. Wasn’t it to good to be true? That’s how we are conditioned to grow. We are asked to not believe strangers, who knew strangers were so good. After around 10 mins, he pointed me to the centre. I thanked him and my stars. He left. I wonder if these men didn’t exist what would we women do.

I got a pass to the Matrimandir. Drove to the beach, ate at the bakery and was reading an informative that I collected from the Visitors Centre. Suddenly I recollected what my father always said, “Never punish the second person you meet for the wrong encounter with you had with the first. For every bad man that you meet, there is four good that you will see.”  I never really belived him for the life I had seen after him, without him was very tough on me. But that moment, with so much of goodness around: all that he said made sense to me for the first time. My thoughts took me back to the life I had spent as a fatherless daughter in the last 10 years flashed in front of my eyes. Yes, there were cousins who wanted to break me emotionally, but there was a brother, not related to me by my blood who stood by me through every emotional low. Yes, he was my father’s brother who insulted me and challenged my capability as a girl child, but there was an uncle, not related to me by my blood who believed I would overcome every hurdle that would come by. Yes, she was my aunt who warned my mother that I would run away with a boy with all the money, but there was a teacher who believed I would turn into one of the finest women living. Yes, there were too many selfish people that I always talked about. But rarely have I acknowledged the good men who have supported me when I was losing it out on humanity. To every jerk who stares at women as if they are going to eat you up, there are men who understand its uncomfortable for a girl to sit in between two men in a flight. To every uber incident that we hear every other day about women being harassed, there are men like Shakti Anna, who drove me safe to my destination inspite of the breakdown. To every mysterious old man tales we read in the newspapers who turn out to be serial killers, there are men like Gopal Pattan who gave me food at almost midnight. To every passerby who ignores people at trouble, there are men like that Tamil boy who helped me despite not knowing my language. To every road robberies and rapes we hear of each day, there are men like the one I met on my way to Auroville who went out of his way to help me for nothing in return.

Dear Good men, It is for you, we feel safe. It is for you, we feel privileged. It is for you we still hope to bump into a better human being, and that not all of you are rapists and opportunists. And this trip changed my perspective. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart from all the people I mentioned in the above instances to the people I couldn’t. I thank you all. There were more instances like so but mentioning them here will only lengthen this post. But before I end this, to all the woman who have suffered inequality for being a girl child.. Know that not every man is alike. Some men are good and they treat you like they treat their mothers and sisters at home. Raise your boys well, teaching them equality and they will make the world a better place to live in.

But before I stop typing.. one thing that I need to mention: Be careful too, not all men are good either. If I fell into the hands of one bad man in the whole trip. I wouldn’t be alive to tell you this story. And if something bad would have happened, you would have blamed me for taking all these risks that I did.  Because, the good and the bad, they all look good in the beginning.  What I learnt was, think good and trust people. If everybody out there was bad, the world would have no longer been a place to live. Its always a balance between the good and the bad. Choose wisely!

Love love!

Advertisements

Things to do in Amritsar

Places to Visit:

  • The Golden temple: the main attraction of Amritsar, holiest shrine of Sikhism but millions of people, both pilgrims and tourist visit from all over the world. Its open all day, the temple door shuts down from 1am to 3am.
  • Wagah border: Located 29kms from the city, wagah is the only road border crossing between India and Pakistan. It lies between Amristar and Lahore. Thousands of people gather daily at sunset, to see the extraordinary and boisterous ceremony of lowering the national flags on the border crossing. Autos/Taxis are available from the Golden temple Gate on both private and shared basis.
  • Jallianwala Bagh: At a 2min walking distance from the Golden temple is this Garden. But it holds a very important place in our Indian history for its tragic event in 1919. It has a museum which shows us some parts from history. And, there is a light and sound show happening in the evening which recreates the events from the past. Usually open from 7am to 5pm. The light and sound show’s timming varies with winter and summer timmings.
  • Town Hall: 1km from the Golden temple is the town hall, the house of a lot of restaurants and shopping centres.  Very near to it, is the Partition Musuem.
  • Durgiana Temple: Around 2kms from the Golden temple is the Durgiana Mandir. Its the virtual replica of the Golden temple.Its devoted to Goddess Durga, but they also call it the laxmi narayan temple. Open from 6am to 10am.
  • Gobindgarh Fort: Another 2kms from the Durgiana Temple is this Fort. I couldn’t visit this one because it is under construction since the last one year. But what I have read and heard is its an architecture lover’s wonder. It’s made of bricks and lime, and is laid out in a square. It has 25 cannons mounted on its ramparts. The main entrance, Nalwa Gate, Killer Gate is the back entrance. An underground tunnel runs towards Lahore.
  • Mata Lal Devi Mandir: 2kms from Gobindgarh fort and 3.5kms from Golden temple. The temple is the shrine of 20th century female saint Mata Lal Devi Ji popularly known as ‘Pujya Mata Ji’. It was built on the lines of the sacred Vaishnodevi temple in Katra, Jammu. You have to walk across caves and little water channels to reach the temple and the locals call it ‘Gufa Vaishno Devi Ji’.
  • Rambagh Gardens, Summer Palace, Maharaja Ranjit Singh Panorama: 3.5kms from the golden temple and 2.5 kms from the Amritsar railway station. Visit these places if you have time and is interested in the historical past of Amritsar. The battles fought and won. The summer palace is now being restored and converted into a museum. It is one of the earliest examples of a maintenance free cooling system.
  • Ram Tirath: 14 kms from Gobindgarh Fort, 15 kms from Golden temple is Ram Tirath.This historic temple is famous for Hindus. Popularly believed to be Rishi Valmiki’s ashram, Luv-kush’s birthplace, The natives believe the famous battle between Luv-Kush and Lord Rama was fought in the surrounding forests.

 

Things to Shop:

  • Amritsari juttis
  • Woolen garments
  • Punjabi salwaar suits
  • Phulkari stoles and dupattas
  • Sandalwood carvings
  • khandas, Karas (sikh religious bangle), swords, daggers and Sikh symbols made in metals

Things to Eat:

Aalo Kulcha, Amritsari Fish, Lassi, sarson ka saag. For restaurant recommendations.. 5 Places to binge in Amritsar

For the whole travelogue: A day in Amritsar!

A day in Amritsar!

We’re suppossed to reach Amritsar at 8:55am but surprisingly our train was some 15 mins early. We had no pre-bookings done. So, once we reached the station. We started searching for some options to stay. I made my mom sit with all our luggage, while me and my sister started walking out in the streets of Amritsar. I entered some hotels nearby, but was highly disappointed with their untidy rooms and high tariff.

I was busy clicking photos when my sister pointed out the PUNJAB TOURISM OFFICE, which was about some 5mins from the station. We entered the office and that is where I decided staying at the GOLDEN TEMPLE was the best option.

I feared the idea for we had a late night train to catch that very night. Precisely we had only one day at Amritsar. We’re hungry and planless.

I found a small road-side stall selling the famous ‘amritsari-aalo-kulcha’. We hurried to eat. The Sardarji at the stall told us again.. to stay at the golden temple was the best option. We finised eating our ‘aalo-kulcha’, packed another 2 for my mom and decided to stay at the golden temple. We went back to the station, hired an auto and started for the golden temple. We had to bargain to get the fair from rs.100 to rs.60/- Later, we got to know the fair was rs.50
Golden temple was some 20mins away from the station. We reached the golden temple at something around 10:30am. We had a slight confusion for this was our first visit to the city and the golden temple premises had many gates. After wandering for something about an hour or so, we finally found Hari Niwas. We immediately booked an A.C Room for a tariff of Rs.300, and since it was already 12noon. We checked in. We took half an hour to de-stress and then started for the temple. picture-110

In about half an hour, we were done with the darshan. picture-087

Followed by our darshaan, we went to eat at the Langar. We kept strolling for about another half an hour at the streets nearby, looking at the small stalls.
We found many auto-drivers shouting “Wagah-border”. We found that if you hire your family a car, they’ll charge you Rs.800 whereas, if you agree to go on share.. they’ll charge you rs.80 per head. We kept strolling along the shops for a little while and then we entered Jalianwala bagh, which is about a 5min walk from the temple premesies. It was supposed to close early and there was not much to see. So, I clicked some quick pictures and we got out of it. There was not much to shop apart from some “amritsari juti” in the huge street market in and around the Golden temple and Jallianwala Bagh. I bought a few pairs and decided to hit upon the famous Amritsari Food. I was very excited about the Punjabi Food.. Cuisine rather; and I did quite some homework too. I had certain names in my head. I started with the very familiar ‘Gol-gappe’. Post that we took our ride to Attari or like they Say Wagah Border. After sunset,  it was almost mid-evening by the time we returned from Attari. We made a quick trip to Durgiana Temple, shopping complex. And finally filled our tummies at the “Kesar Da Dhaba”. And about the temple, I didn’t see much resemblence though but localites say, it’s the replica of the Golden temple. However post that we took an auto to the Surjit Food Plaza. We thought of snacking their specialities- ‘Amritsari Fish’, ‘Tandoori Chicken’ and ‘Makhan Fish’.
We took an auto back to the golden temple area. We’re amazed to see the ‘papad-bazar’. We shopped for some ethnic ‘patialas’ and finally head towards the temple. My mom and my sister headed for our room whereas I ran towards the sarovar. I wanted to click the evening lights of the Golden temple. We sat by the sarovar, it was so calm and serene. whatsapp-image-2016-10-17-at-22-07-48

But like all good things come to an end.
It was about 9:30pm, when we decided to check out. It was 10pm when we hired an auto for the station. We asked him if we could have our dinner somewhere on our way. He recommended Crystal Restaurant at the Crystal Chowk. It was on the way towards the railway station. We had kadai paneer, biriyani, amritsari aalo and butter chicken for dinner. And, I must say, The FOOD WAS AWESOME.
After our food was done, we headed towards the station to know our train was some hours late.
We had our reservations at Bhatinda-JammuTawi Exp(19225). The scheduled departure was at 1:10am. It arrived at 2:00am and departed at 2:10am. That is how the beautiful day at the north-western city of India ends.

Keypoints.
1. there are two train by the name hwh-asr. but dont get confused. follow the numbers. hwh-asr mail(13005) takes 37hrs and hwh-asr exp(13049) takes some 44hrs.
2. Pre-bookings are not required, rooms are quite easily available at the golden temple premises.. unless you aren’t travelling during any of their festivals.
3. For people visiting GOLDEN TEMPLE for the first time, and willing to stay there, make sure you enter the temple through the ‘Panitanki’ gate or ‘hariniwas’, thats the place to stay in golden temple.
4. Start for Jalinwala Bagh early, we missed most of it, for it shuts down by 5pm.
5. We missed Oswal Factory Outlet. Yes, Amritsar has it. Do check it out incase you want to shop for winter garments.
6. Make sure you go to ‘Attari/Wagah Border’.
7.For people willing to eat at ‘Surjit Food Plaza’. Its at Nehru Shopping Complex, Lawrence Road..
8. For people willing to eat at ‘Crystal’. Its at Crystal Chowk, Queens Road.
9. There are some 3 trains that go to Jammu from Amritsar. Firstly, the one that we travelled at. Secondly, the Tatanagar one, and the other one is the Rourkela one. In anycase if you are thinking of taking the next two, let me tell you they are long distant trains.. and would always be late from their scheduled time.

P.S- All the fares and tariffs are of 2011.

“Rajma-Chawal” en-route Srinagar!

So, it was around an odd October of 2011 that I visited Srinagar. It was the day of odds.. but admist all I found this wonderful cook who almost burnt my tastebuds.. and made a hardcore non-vegetarian believe that there exists vegetarian food thats drool-worthy too.

To the Odds of the day.. We boarded Bhatinda-Jammu Express, which was scheduled to arrive Jammu at 06:20 but amazingly and unlikely according to Railways, arrived early. I pre-booked the car that was supposed to take us up. The driver kept calling me and I was dead asleep. Finally the attendants in the train shook me off to sleep as they came up to clean. Imagine how embarrassing can that be! Finally I met the friends I were to travel with, who arrived a night earlier and we got in the car. Our car broke down 37kms before we reached Patnitop. The driver asked us to sit at a nearby dhaba.. and tried fixing and calling some people up.

1
Caged! A view down from the dhaba where our car broke down.

Localites came up and fixed the car, we started again, and in about half an hour the car broke again. Fed up with the whole process.. we decided to quit on the car and take a car-pull instead. We did! It took us to Patnitop. We took a quick hault. Had refreshments and booked us another car to Srinagar. After about 1.5hrs of a good drive.. I got stuck in the weirdest traffic jam ever. Oh yes.. all of you complaining about the traffic in metro cities.. you have no idea how long one can be stuck in traffic in the mountains. It was 3pm, the mountain sickness hit my friend and my little sister, the cars weren’t moving. There seemed no option for food either. I requested the driver so that he could help us with some food considering he may know locals. He asked us to wait.

2
the long queue of cars

Its not like the cars weren’t moving at all.. Just that it was moving but like an ant.

3
Caged! A view down from the dhaba where our car broke down.

After about 1 hour the driver got us to a place. It was a small and shabby hut. We had to bend our heads to enter ( I am just trying to explain how small that was 😛 ). There sat a fat man with two odd cots for people to sit at. The driver was talking to him in their local language, they call themselves dobris but they all sound like punjabis to us bengalis. I enquired aloud if they had anything from their non-veg section? The fat man replied that they don’t cook non-veg during the Navratras. I frowned and was about to say something to my sister when the man spoke.. “Okay letme cook for you guys today and you will forget all the non-vegetarian food you have ever had in your life”. That was quite a statement! For people who know me personally call me chicken-tarian.. Yup bongs are fish-fans but I am not.. I can’t go without chicken even for a single day. Munching on chips .. I watched him cook. He cooked Rajma for us (Red-Kidney Beans). He had them soaked overnight and boiled. So, that was fast and easy. And, we sat down for lunch at around 5PM. Undoubtedly it was one of the best things I have ever eaten in my life. It was so yummy.. and I eat it all inspite of the fact it was very hot and hot. (And this was not the first time I was having Rajma Chawal in my life.. I have had it before, but I disliked Rajma then. #JustForTheInfo )

This dish changed my likes and dislikes.. Lol. I washed my hands, took a paper and sat in front of him, pleaded for the recipe. I noted down his tricks.. And ever since then.. on odd days whenever my mom insists on vegetarian food.. this is what I cook. This has become a family favourite now. Today, in the evening.. when I was cooking this.. I thought why not share it with the world. So, here I am sharing the recipe and tricks for the best Rajma-Chawal that I have ever had in my life.

4

Procedure:

  • Soak rajma overnight for at least for 12 hours. If you have got the right beans, they will get double in size after soaking.
  • Pressure cook the soaked rajma in about 3 cups of water and the “masala potli” created in pressure cooker until rajma is soft and tender. Don’t throw the stock, it makes the gravy tastier.
  • Heat oil in a pan, fry cinnamon stick, cloves and bay leaf for a minute. Then add chopped onions. Saute it till the onions turns to golden brown.
  • Add ginger garlic. Fry till golden and cooked. Add chopped tomatoes, turmeric powder, cumin powder, and green chillies or red chilli powder which ever suits you best.
  • Grind the potli’s ingredients into a paste, add about one teaspoon of it when the tomatoes are soft and cooked.
  • Add boiled rajma to it with salt and the rajma stock. Add some water. Cover it and let it simmer it for 20-30 minutes. When the rajma gets nicely blended with the curry, add a tablespoon of butter.
  • Garnish it with few coriander leaves or mint leaves, either.

Best served with hot rice. 5

Please Note:

  •        1. the dobri man used red chilli powder, my bong taste likes green chillies more so I changed that bit. You may opt any one that you like.
  •        2. Coriander or mint, neither was used by the man there .. I used it for garnishing. You may wish to add or not, your choice.

     Now that I have successfully posted my first blog post.. I want you guys to please try this at home and let me know in the comment section.. how this turned out for you guys.
    P.S- the odd day didn’t just end there.. After lunch, we got in the car and the cars kept moving like an ant. We reached Srinagar at 3am at night, when the real distance should have taken us 6 to 7 hours maximum.. It took us almost 20 hours to reach Srinagar. But then the moment I stepped out of the car at Srinagar.. all my complaints disappeared for there is a reason why they say.. It is the paradise on Earth.
    7
    the view of Dal Lake from our Houseboat. #TheMorningSun

    6

    Thankfully what follows an odd night is a good morning. The first morning in Srinagar.

    Rightly said.. Paradise on Earth!